Toyota's latest ad campaign is fantastic. They imply that their customers are a bunch of idiots. What better way to get someone to buy something? There's two different types of ads I've heard.

In the first, they talk about the reason other car companies say "hurry in!" in their ads...because they don't want you to do some comparison shopping first. And then they tell you that if you did, you'd find the Toyota Camry is the best car. Thanks douchebag. That's exactly how I car shop! I hear "hurry in" on the radio and I may run over some woman with a baby in a stroller, but damned if I don't pull a U-turn in the middle of an intersection at a red light and speed towards the nearest dealership to get the car I just heard about. Because I'm just that stupid! Thanks, Toyota, for enlightening me. Now that I know better than to listen to and do whatever a car company tells me, what car did you say I should buy again?

The second one is even better than the first because not only does it use the same idea, but it considers you even stupider than the first. It says something along the lines of "a car shouldn't be an impulse buy...it's not a pack of gum or a tabloid." Where do they get such wisdom? First of all, I always thought a car could give me the latest news on Brad and Angelina. But now Toyota has dashed my dreams of the TabloidCar 5000. But moving on. I can't even count the number of times I've stood in a long line at the register at Jewel with some groceries and caught myself staring across the street at a dealership. The next thing you know, I've dropped my groceries and am sprinting across the street to buy the car that caught my eye. Then I bring it home and realize I've made a huge mistake and cry about it for a week. Because we all know you can't undo that decision. And it always happens no matter how many times I remind myself to stop going to the grocery store on an empty stomach and without a car...I always end up getting way more food and cars than I know what to do with because I'm just so hungry for both. Stupid impulse items!

So thanks to Toyota, I won't listen to what the car companies say about buying a car or get a car on a whim like I do so often. I'll just get the car they say to get, and get it right now because they've laid out absoulutely all the facts. How can I lose?

Hey, since you guys are so smart, maybe you can figure out how to make a car that doesn't have sideways tires! That's not very useful. Except to drive into other cars.